For the last two days I’ve been receiving a lot of symbolism referring to death. Not literal death, more like ego death and the death of bad habits or old patterns.
My first hint from Spirit to follow down the rabbit hole was the imagery of Anubis, Egyptian god of mummification and the afterlife as well as the patron god of lost souls and the helpless.
As we deal with a state of quarantine enforced for most of us, it is very normal to respond in variety of unexpected ways that may be alarming to you because let’s face it, there’s no manual on how to navigate this.
I had forgotten that the full moon for April was coming up and the last 48 hours are making a lot more sense now!
A recurring theme some psychics have touched upon is Shadow work and Regression. Consider the personal work and coping mechanisms you’ve worked so hard to master, crumbling for some under this heavy wave of uncertainty. Also consider that you may be regressing back to behaviors learned in childhood.
This is all completely normal and OK.
Some of us may seem a little calmer than other. Jokes aside, I decided to look in to why this was the case after seeing a few memes joke about this calmness in the face of chaos and I personally found this article informative:
In my case, I fall under this category:
People Whose Specific Childhood Challenges Prepared Them — If your childhood was unpredictable, was filled with uncertainty, or required you to make decisions you weren’t prepared for or act beyond your years, then perhaps your childhood prepared you for this very moment. When you grow up this way you develop some special skills out of necessity. You learn how to hyper-focus in ambiguous situations and how to act decisively and trust yourself. Since you have a solid foundation of the exact skills needed for the pandemic, you may be feeling more focused and confident right now than you have in years.
To be honest, at first I was frustrated and embarrassed before I moved on to being grateful and proud I learned how to be efficient yet compassionate in the face of uncertainty and chaos.
Now, I embrace it. There are moments where this all hits too close to home and the collective anxiety, confusion, disorder, anger and so on just feels like one big blob that is my mom all over again. Unfortunately her unmonitored dysfunction with no other responsible adult around meant I was in charge for both of us. I automatically took on the role of being calm and “looking on the bright side” for everyone else as I got older while hiding my own fears and needs at a very young age.
I accept this now as my history and my greatest weapon. I accept all of this now as a part of me and my way of contributing to the collective.
Now, what I do need to shed and grieve the part of this that is not allowing me to express my feelings, my fears and needs.
I feel like this full moon is a great opportunity to grieve and shed old habits that no longer serve us, leaving room for new, healthier habits, to come join our existing coping mechanisms that we have worked very hard on integrating in order to navigate this life.
If we have the available head space right now, emotionally and mentally, this is a great time to refine the tools we already have, and take back our power from the childhood wounds we have, because our deepest wounds really are the path to discovering and refining our greatest gifts.
I hold space for you and your grief, and so do your guides, ancestors, angels and any other protector you may call upon at any time.